Once that you've decided on a killing First you make a stone of your heart And if you find that your hands are still willing Then you can turn a murder into art
There really isn't any need for bloodshed You just do it with a little more finesse If you can slip a tablet into someone's coffee Then it avoids an awful lot of mess
It's murder by numbers, one, two, three It's as easy to learn as your abc Murder by numbers, one, two, three It's as easy to learn as your abc
Now if you have a taste for this experience And you're flushed with your very first success Then you must try a twosome or a threesome And you'll find your conscience bothers you much less
Because murder is like anything you take to It's a habit-forming need for more and more You can bump off every member of your family And anybody else you find a bore
Because it's murder by numbers, one, two, three It's as easy to learn as your abc Murder by numbers, one, two, three It's as easy to learn as your abc
Now you can join the ranks of the illustrious In history's great dark hall of fame All our greatest killers were industrious At least the ones that we all know by name
But you can reach the top of your profession If you become the leader of the land For murder is the sport of the elected And you don't need to lift a finger of your hand
Because it's murder by numbers, one, two, three It's as easy to learn as your abc Murder by numbers, one, two, three It's as easy to learn as your a, b, c, d, e
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