Laura Calls me In the middle of the night Passes on her Painful information Then these careless fingers They get caught in her vice Til they're bleeding On my coffee table Living alone isn't all that It's cracked up to be I'm on her side Why does she push the poison on me? Laura Has a very hard time All her life has Been one long disaster Then she tells me She suddenly believes she's seen A very good sign She'll be taking Some aggressive action I fight her wars While she's slamming her doors In my face Failure to break Was the only mistake That she made Here I am Feeling like a f***ing fool Do I react the way exactly She intends me to? Everytime I think I'm off the hook She makes me lose my cool I'm her machine And she can punch all the keys She can push any button I was programmed through Laura Calls me When she needs a good fix All her questions Will get sympathetic answers I should Be so Immunized To all of her tricks She's surviving On her second chances Sometimes I feel like this Godfather deal is all wrong How can she hold an umbilical chord For so long? I've done everything I can What else am I supposed to do I'm her machine And she can punch all the keys She can push any button I was programmed through Laura Loves me Even if I don't care That's my problem That's her sacred absolution If she had to She would put herself in my chair Even though i Faced electrocution She always says I'm the best friend that She's ever had How do you Hang up on someone Who needs you that bad?
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