I've been married, and married, and often I've sighed I'm never a bridesmaid, I'm always a bride
I never divorced them, I hadn't the heart Yet remember these sweet words, 'till death do us part
I married many men, a ton of them Because I was untrue to none of them Because I bumped off every one of them To keep my love alive
Sir paul was frail, he looked a wreck to me At night he was a horse's neck to me So I performed an appendectomy To keep my love alive
Sir thomas had insomnia, he couldn't sleep at night I bought a little arsenic, he's sleeping now all right
Sir philip played the harp, I cussed the thing I crowned him with his harp to bust the thing And now he plays where harps are just the thing To keep my love alive To keep my love alive
(bridge)
I thought sir george had possibilities But his flirtations made me ill at ease And when I'm ill at ease, I kill at ease To keep my love alive
Sir charles came from a sanitorium And yelled for drinks in my emporium I mixed one drink, he's in memorium To keep my love alive
Sir francis was a singing bird, a nightingale, that's why I tossed him off my balcony, to see if he, could fly
Sir atherton indulged in fratricide, He killed his dad and that was patricide One night I stabbed him by my mattress-side To keep my love alive To keep my love alive To keep my love alive
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